I started my year by rereading All About Love by bell hooks and finished this week, partially because I wanted to savor every idea she presents and partially because Instagram reels has fried my attention span. hooks is a one-of-a-kind thinker and writer that has written some of the most important texts on topics like gender, race, and feminism; and here she tackles the transformative power of love itself.
When I first read this book about 6 years ago (what the hell), it was like getting splashed in the face with a bucket of ice water. Its revelatory ideas about love, how it stems from childhood treatment, gets reflected throughout our lives through romantic connection, and can be and must be embraced despite the fear it traps us in whether we realize it or not, and its writing style were and are incredibly revealing to me. I felt personally called out at several points in this book, and its arguments have compelled me to approach my life and the connections I make with others more meaningful.
Coming at the book again at a much different point in my life, I still found its points, arguments, and prose incredible. It has once again grounded me in a place to appreciate and love intentionally and be more reflective about the people, places, and things in my life. It’s impossible to read this book and not insert yourself and experiences into what hooks discusses. Once again, her invitation to think about love has been challenging and therapeutic.
However, this time, I approached it with a little more maturity and found myself disagreeing and questioning her points more often. For instance, I found her points about romantically committing to somebody based on potential and vowing to change them questionable. At certain points, it’s seems like she might be contradicting herself, but I am also bringing my own personal situations and biases to the text, and it’s impossible for hooks to write a book that appeals to an entire society and also addresses me specifically (I am a freak). Some things in this book are a little dated as well, such as the Clinton sexual scandal and an overt concern with portrayals of family/romance/love in “mass media”—which at times feels like a late 90s/early 00s reductive buzzword. I wonder how she’d write this today, given the rise of things like social media (Instagram reels) and the shifting grim political landscape. hooks died in 2021 (RIP!), and I haven’t read anything of hers written after this book, so maybe she explores these concepts in the years before her passing.
To you, humble reader, it seems I may have joined a love cult. I have not, but I could. Don’t tempt me. hooks does discuss Christian religion has a major pillar of love in this book. I am not religious, and this book did not convert me, but I found people’s responses to the religious aspects quite shocking on this website for sinners. While there are certain points, especially toward the end that I found a little overbearing in religious overtones, how can you argue against prayer, which is basically just a form of self-reflection and meditation? (Just take out the God stuff. It’s literally that easy.) Religious leaders have been an important driving force in transforming our culture for the better (and worse), and discounting them for that reason is itself ignorant. Like many ancient tales, you can take the Christian bible’s stories and gain knowledge and understanding from them without being a devout believer or believer at all (like me). Take that, atheists.
Even though I just finished the book, I already want to reread it again. While I brought a much different mindset to this work, having read it before and living a little more life, I still gained plenty from this incredible book despite its cracks, which were more apparent to me this time around. This not-self-help book should be required reading for everybody, especially for the other person currently in your situationship.
5/5